Work has been stressful lately. Yes, quite the news flash. In a recession with money tight all over, of course work is stressful. Had myself a little cry about that last night on the balcony. A friend of mine who also runs a nonprofit organization said that she cries every day. I was taken aback by that, because we're socialized to not cry. I mean, we grow up and our parents are always telling us not to cry and then as adults we're supposed to control our emotions.
However, over the past few years, I've come to see crying as a good release valve to have. I don't mean that I have huge omg-my-heart-is-broken bawling fits, but just let the stress leak out a bit, have a little pity party, put it in perspective, and then get on with it.
Anyway, that's not where I was going with this post.
So this is what I have to do today: Go to work, deal with the budget and human resources about renegotiating pay and contracts (someone poke my eye out now), work on a grant proposal, and meet with an attorney about the organization's governance (exciting!). At least the day will end relatively early, about mid afternoon after meeting with the lawyer.
This is what I should do: Go home after the meeting with the lawyer and clean the house, especially do the windows, and put away my crocheting and knitting. A friend is coming over for lunch Saturday and then next weekend Husband's family is visiting. Chop up the vegetables and prepare for the Saturday lunch.
What I want to do: Watch DVDs (Chuck, The Last Airbender, Rome, 3:10 to Yuma -- still on the Alan Tudyk kick but will wait for Husband to watch that one) and crochet. Read ("Fool Moon" about Harry Dresden, wizard for hire in Chicago) and knit.
What I will probably do: Go to work etc. Go home and watch an episode of Chuck while finishing the current round on the crochet blanket and then while chopping up the vegetables. Be washing either the windows or the bathtub when Husband gets home.
Because as whiney as I was at the beginning of the post, I know the evening will end with Husband and I at the Braves baseball game so, really, I shouldn't complain.
But it's that what this blog is for? It's like my pensieve, the place I put thoughts and feelings for examination later. Thoughts and feelings I don't mind sharing, that is.
I feel so much better now getting this off my chest.